The Ballad of Don Jr.

Some poems about Donald Trump Jr., because I get bored and enjoy writing them.

The Key to Understanding Don Jr.

There once was a man with no chin,
Who didn’t quite fit in his skin.
He wanted the love,
Of his father above,
Much to the nation’s chagrin.

Donald Trump Jr. Refuses to Discuss Father-Son Talk With Investigators

I’m Donald Trump Jr.,
I refuse to talk.
I’d be in jail sooner,
But Vance let me walk.

I met with that Russian —
Veselnitskaya —
But she gave me nothing.
I’m a pariah.

I’m not an attorney,
But have privilege.
I should take a journey,
Right off of a bridge.

Donald Trump Jr. asked Russian lawyer for info on Clinton Foundation

His crimes have gone beyond the pale.
Don Junior, I hope you like jail.
An extended vacation
Where the Clinton Foundation
You’ll no longer have time to assail.

The curious timing of Trump Jr.’s first Wikileaks tweet

Don Junior, Don Junior,
Each time that he speaks,
He says something stupid,
Like: “Check out Wikileaks!”

CNN botched a story about Trump Jr. — who claims, without evidence, that reporters ‘got played’

Reporters messed up,
Editors okayed.
Don Junior sure knows,
What it means to be played.

He screws so much up,
And despite all his wealth,
As Khaled would say,
Don, “You played yourself.”

A ‘serious case of amnesia’: House Intel Democrat says Trump Jr. was ‘pretty non-responsive’ in 8-hour interview

Trump-Russia, House Intel was linking.
Don Senior spoke like he’d been drinking.
His son, what a ponce,
Gave little response,
Because he’s not that fast at thinking.

Trump Jr. mocks Franken’s resignation speech

Get it out now, Don,
Snark often and proud.
Once you’re in jail, con,
Twitter isn’t allowed.

Trump Jr. to appear before Senate Intelligence Committee Wednesday

Don’s brain’s not too fast,
His attitude’s shitty.
Hold him in contempt,
Senate Intel Committee!